THIS IS NOT AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL!!!!

Midlife-Crisis Man
Traded my wife of 30 years in
For a younger sleeker bit
And tho the conversation sucks
So does she and she don’t spit

Chorus
Midllife-crisis man
I’m Midllife-crisis man
Got a daughter older than my girlfriend
Midlife-crisis man

Bought myself a silver Boxster
And man is it the shit
The only problem is arthritis
When I try to sit in it

Midlife crisis man
Driving through a Midlife crisis man
My car pulls more chicks than I can
Midlife crisis man

Look at me, my hair is growing
It’s getting thicker by the day
They aren’t plugs, it’s a wide parting
No way, it ain’t a toupee!

Midlife Crisis Man
I’m a Midlife hairless man
My chest has more hair than my head now
Midlife crisis man

And though I know you think I’m sad
With my girlfriend and my car
I don’t care,
Because I’m better off by far
I didn’t need that silly marriage,
House or dog or wife
I just watch the money disappear
And count the blessings of my life

Midlife broken man
Midlife broken man
My checkbook has more fun that I do
Midlife no cash man

My girlfriend says she now is pregnant
And yes she swears its mine
I guess it true what they say about Viagra
The Doc says its not my fault, don’t whine

Chorus to end