(Totally stolen from MsLaura)
My Life Swap CD:
Fingers of Love, Crowded House (from the album Together Alone)
And I can't look up, fingers of love move down
Truly, Madly, Deeply

Angels, Robbie Williams (from the album The Ego Has Landed)
I'm loving Angels instead
Everybody needs an angel.

Crazy, Seal (William Orbit Mix)
And we're never going to survive, unless, we get a little crazy
There are times in your life where you go off the deep end and there is a fine line betweeen drowning and coming back stonger than before. This was one of those times. I love remixes of songs when they genuinally bring something new out.

The Downtown Lights, The Blue Nile (from the album Hats)
Sometimes I walk away, When all I really wanna do, is love and hold you right.
There is just one thing I can say,
Nobody loves you this way

Not the most prolific band in the world but with songs this good, who needs to be?

No Distance Left to Run, Blur
I won't kill myself trying to stay in your life
Sometimes giving up is harder than fighting but look at me now, bitch.

I Don't Want to Know About Evil, Beth Orton (w/ William Orbit)
I don't wanna know evil, I only wanna know about love
She told me she loved me while she was fucking my best friend. How blind is love? I am a big fan of the John Martyn original but there is something about this version that I find both seductive and strangely disturbing.

Won't Give In, Finn Brothers (from the album Everyone Is Here)
Once in a while I return to the fold with people I call my own
Even if time is just a flicker of light, and we all have to die alone
What does it mean when you belong to someone, when you're born with a name, when you carry it on?
It means that I won't give in, because everyone I love is here, all at once
Sometimes it take a song like this to make growing old palatable

Love Is Stronger Than Death, The The (from the album Dusk)
In our lives we hunger for those we cannot touch.
All the thoughts unuttered & all the feelings unexpressed
Play upon our hearts like the mist upon our breath.
But, awoken by grief, our spirits speak
After Pam died, it took me a long time to come terms with my emotions and realize that I wanted love more, not less. I cam to understand that she had opened a well in my heart and, despite the pain and grief I felt, it couldn't be closed again.

Jean-Michel Jarre, Oxygene Part IV (from the album Oxygene)
Portrait of the geek as a young man! The first album that I legitamely bought for myself with my own money and which opened my soul to music.

Yes, Starship Trooper (from the album The Yes Album
Speak to me of summer, long winters longer than time can remember
Although they grew way too self-important in their later years, there is a timelessness to their older stuff that still makes it fresh to me even after 33 years.

Kate Bush, The Man With The Child In His Eyes (from the album The Kick Inside)
DId you see me? Did you know that I loved you more than life itself? Did I make a fool of myself again?

Everything But The Girl, Missing (from the album Amplified Heart)
You were also two steps ahead of everyone
I walk behind while you would run
Although the club mix on the same album made them (re)popular, there is a wistfulness to Ben's guitar playing that perfectly matches Tracy's vocal.

The Bolshoi, Away (from the album The Bolshoi)
When you were at school, you were a honey
The boys all loved you, you loved their money
The boys would stare, you'd cross your legs
And then you'd toss your hair
Away
Everybody knew someone like this at school. Sadly I was in love with her! :)

Toad The Wet Sprocket, Something's Always Wrong (from the album Dulcinea)
another game of putting things aside
as if we'll come back to them sometime
I hate endings

Train, Drops Of Jupiter (from the album Drops Of Jupiter)
Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
I supply the ground for my wife but she supplies my wings!


So there you go. I'd probably come up with a completely different set of songs if I thought about it more but this list is more honest!

SCENE: THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
LOCATION: BOZZ'S PRIMARY "CARE" PHYSICIAN
CAST: OUR HERO, HIS DOCTOR "RENDER", HIS DOCTOR'S NURSE "CONSUELA"

CONSUELA:"Meessttteer Boozzzzzzzzz?"

Bozz stands up, slowly, obviously not well, and walks toward the examination room. He is visibly sweating and shivering.
CONSUELA:"Lit me wayyyyy you fhirst"

Bozz looks a little confused, he doesn't understand what his weight has to do with his condition, but manfully tries to balance on the scales despite shivering so hard the he falls off. Twice.
CONSUELA:
"So wet is the raisin fer ewer visit today?"

She says, pursing her lips to form the words correctly.
BOZZ:
"Well, I've been feverish and I really haven't been feeling well the last couple ......"

She walks away, ignoring Bozz's explanation. Bozz follows her to to an exam room where she haves him removes his sweatshirt and takes his pulse, BP and temperature.

CONSUELA:"No fhevverr for u today."

She says it as if it is an accusation, as if the fact the he is shivering and that his teeshirt is soaked is some kind of ploy.

CONSUELA:
"Pleeze weight hier fer de Doctori"

Bozz reaches for his sweatshirt.

CONSUELA:
"LHEAVE SWIETESHEERT OFFF!"
"Plaze"

She leaves the room. Bozz grabs the sweatshirt and droops it over his shoulders. He looks around the small, slightly seedy examination room, halfheartedly staring at the cartoons cut out from the New Yorker pinned to the bullentin board.

Doctor Render enters the rooms. He is a generic 50's man who obviously tries to be cordial but doesn't really understand the concept.

DOC R:
(Disinterestingly)"So what seems to be the problem?"

"I'm fucking dying you idiot" Bozz thinks but refrains from voicing.

As he tries to make eye contact with Bozz, his demeanor changes because its obvious that the story about Bozz been a time-wasting loser that his nurse has fed him is wrong.

DOC R:
Thinks to himself "This guy actually looks ill. Better tred carefully here"

BOZZ:
Well Doc, I been feeling really bad ....
Bozz runs through a series of symptoms

DOC R:
"Hmmm. Have you been over seas lately?"

Bozz nods no

DOC R:
"Rash? Sore throat? Runny nose?"

Bozz nods no to all of them. Doc R starts to examine Bozz but as his hands go to his forehead (presumbly to check for lice) he stops. The guys is clammy but the case sheet the nurse filled out says no temperature. He continues his exam.

DOC R:
"Any problem urinating - redness, soreness, pain ...... blood?"

He raises his eyebrow dramatically at the mention of blood. Ah yes, of course, Bozz forgot to mention the gallons of blood this his penis has dispensed at every opportunity.

BOZZ:
"No, no blood. Other than feeling really .... ill .... I don't have any other symptons than the ones I mentioned"

Doc ponders for a minute. Wait a minute, this guys a diabetic, bet I can pass it off as that.

DOC R:
"How has your Blood Glucose level been?"

He waits with a smug, triumphant grin, safe in the knowledge that either Bozz hasn't been testing it or its out of whack. He is wrong on both counts.

BOZZ:
"It was a touch elevated yesterday but still within limits, just higher than it normally is. I tested it about an hour ago and it was exactly what is should be."

Doc forces a smile. This guy has been in his exam room for at least 5mins. He doesn't get paid to spend this kind of time with patients. Doc R smiles in a way the he thinks is both light hearted and comforting. It reminds Bozz of a shark circling a fish with a damaged fin.

DOC R:
"Well aren't you the mixed bag of mystery symptoms? Your sumptoms are certainly consistent with some form of infection but without you exhibiting some primary symptoms, I'm not sure what it is. Go to the blood center and a get a blood culture and urinalysis and come back and see me Monday. I'll give you some Cipro - its good strong antibiotic and make sure you drink plenty of fluids."

His wisdom dispensed, the Doc leads Bozz up to the front desk. As he walks away he turns back and addresses Bozz, a worried little frown on his face:

DOC R:
"Colin, if you feel worse between now and Monday, you should call somebody?"

Call somebody? How about you asshole? Ohhhh that's right, you don't do Fridays or weekends.

To be continued